tongue in chic

"However I forgot that the hub was in Dubai and the majority of the OFWs (overseas Filipino workers) were stationed there. The duty-free shop was overrun with Filipino workers selling cell phones and perfume. Meanwhile, I wanted to slash my wrist at the thought of being trapped in a plane with all of them. While I was on the plane (where the seats were so small I had bruises on my legs), my only consolation was the entertainment on the small flat screen in front of me. But it was busted, so I heaved a sigh, popped my sleeping pills and dozed off to the sounds of gum chewing and endless yelling of “HOY! Kumusta ka na? At taga saan ka? Domestic helper ka rin ba?” Translation: “Hey there? Where are you from? Are you a domestic helper as well?” I though I had died and God had sent me to my very own private hell.On my way back, I had to bravely take the economy flight once more. This time I had already resigned myself to being trapped like a sardine in a sardine can with all these OFWs smelling of AXE and Charlie cologne while Jo Malone evaporated into thin air.”

This is the cheeky excerpt from Malu Fernandez’s (could-be) last article in People Asia Magazine, June , 2007 which made her evilly famous – at least to the Pinoy Bloggers.

Well the lady travel writer just wanted to sprinkle some acerbic inputs to the article ala Jessica Zafra’s kind of humor which is usually wrapped in painful annotations on life. But there is supposedly an art in doing this kind of commentary. And Malu Fernandez may just have pushed herself out of the boundaries, particularly when OFW’s are romanticized as the new heroes of the republic. The paragraph’s catty remarks should have been cushioned with some warmth and amiability. But there is nothing in the article that could defend the writer’s caustic personhood. Not even her horrible mistake of taking the flight’s economy class when she considered herself so above them all.

If you get to watch stand up comedies proliferating in the Metro, many of the (usually, gay) hosts would pounce on willing victims – habitués of these bars. The comedians would poke fun on all aspects of information provided by the customers. One time, my singer-cousin, Jerry who had that lilt in the way he talks, was surmised to come from Visayas, and was asked pointblank by the hosts – “Saang barko ka galing” This kind of humor humiliated the un-sophisticates of the Southern region. Yet the audience who I am sure may partly come from the area loved it, and the hosts got away with murder.

But it is in the way these hosts handle such hilarity that provides them ease to get away from a sticky situation. Biglang bawi. Biglang kambyo. They know when it is enough or maybe even more than enough. Either the hosts find something that is worth praising or just give him another chance to dish out another song. And yes terribly, sometimes the singer wannabees just want more minutes on stage to use the damn microphone despite the la-it.

Malu, next time around if you really want to be funny and cutting for your unfortunate victims, you still would want to mitigate your words with some heartful remarks. If not, then just bite that nasty tongue.